why didn't you poke me back
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
