did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
