Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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