Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
