We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
this hospital has no fireball
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
