when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize