grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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