Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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