I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
