Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
