First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
