quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
