Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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