I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
