You don't have asthma, your pregnant
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
