I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
