Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
accomplished twins. life is a go
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
