We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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