he shaved USA in his pubs
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
