how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i out mim tonsoeep
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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