I think my vagina is haunted
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
