I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
