I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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