I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i think my cat just said my name.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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