ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
