Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
