sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
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I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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