after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
