Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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