we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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