I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
