sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
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I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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