Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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