it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize
