I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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