i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
