So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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