we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
