Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
