My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
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I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
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My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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