I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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