just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize