I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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