All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
