Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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