May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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