marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
