I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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