So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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