I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I love having hate sex.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
