Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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