im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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