ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize