he wants to bone in the snuggie
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
