There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
