hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My ass is underappreciated
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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