Kiss
Puke
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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